Oscar Oscar! My 83rd Annual Academy Awards predictions.

This should normally be a very happy and exciting time for me, but if I'm being honest it isn't. I feel like a black cloud is hanging over my head. I was reading some of the headlines on Sympatico.ca and clicked on something I shouldn't have. Now I know the fat content in movie theatre popcorn and I'm not sure I will ever be able to step foot in a theatre again. At a Cineplex Odeon in Ontario they tested a large popcorn with butter. 100g of fat!! They also tested it without any topping. 67.3g of fat!!!! It's a miracle of modern science that I'm still alive! They say ignorance is bliss. I guess that will teach me for going on Sympatico.

Still, it is Oscar time. A time where millionaires and billionaires rub their fancy dresses and tight new body parts in our faces. Not literally Dad, don't go getting all excited. Well this is embarrassing. It's a time to celebrate the best in movies. A time to forget about popcorn and nutrition, (or lack thereof) and acknowledge who really did something special on the silver screen in the past year.

It's so nice to be able to say that I've seen every best picture nominee and not be bullshitting. That's something new. In fact the only movie I really wanted to see that I was unable to was Blue Valentine. Well, I guess Meet The Fockers too but I'm not sure that deserves an Oscar nomination.

As always, there were a few major snubs this year. It's hard to feel sorry for people who own jets and politicians, but I think it's a shame that a few people got overlooked. The biggest one would probably be Christopher Nolan not being nominated for Inception. I don't know what the Academy has against Mr Nolan. He always challenges the viewer and assumes they are paying attention. That's the way it should be. If you don't like it, go and watch Grownups. The other major snub for me was Tangled not being nominated for Best Animated Movie. The fact that two more movies could have been nominated but the Academy decided no movie was worthy makes me think that Walt Disney himself is probably rolling over in his freezer. Another smaller snub, I think Rabbit Hole should've been nominated for Best Picture instead of Winter's Bone.

Anne Hathaway and James Franco host this year. I'm not expecting much here, but for the love of God, just tell some good jokes. It's a long show. Hopefully some winner will make things interesting with one-armed pushups or maybe surf the crowd. Something to keep me awake in my comfy easy chair.

It's always interesting to see the outfits of the stars. Joan Rivers always asks who are you wearing? Who are you wearing? There will be a lot of Versace, Armani and Vera Wang. One of the benefits of watching from home, I get to wear Joe Boxer.

Okay, I've kept you in suspense long enough. Here are my OFFICIAL (it just looks more important when it's in all capitals) Academy Award predictions. Let your hair down, put your feet up, and enjoy.


Supporting Actor - One of the easier categories. Christian Bale for The Fighter. No question.

Supporting Actress - Not quite as easy, but I'll pick Melissa Leo also for The Fighter.

Adapted Screenplay - This is likely between True Grit and The Social Network. I'll go with Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network.

Original Screenplay - I feel pretty confident this will go to David Seidler for The King's Speech.

Original Score - It will be a crime if The Social Network doesn't win this. It sets the tone for the whole movie.

Original Song - I'll go with Coming Home from Country Strong, sung by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Animated Feature - Obviously this will go to the brilliant Toy Story 3.

Art Direction - This is tought since there were no directors named Art this year. We'll go with Eve Stewart for The King's Speech.

Cinematography - If there's any justice in the World, this should go to True Grit, pilgrim.

Costume - I just can't give anything to Alice In Wonderland. Nope. I'll say The King's Speech.

Makeup - No real standouts this year. I'll say The Wolfman.

Sound Editing - It's like sound mixing, only different. How about Inception? I mean, Inception!

Sound Mixing - This is when you take all the sounds and mix them together. Glad I could clear that up. The Social Network.

Visual Effects - This should go to Inception.

Documentary Feature - As my Mom says daily in the Vodka section of the Liquor Store, Eenie, meenie, minie moe. Wasteland.

Documentary Short - Warriors Of Quigang sounds important, and that's usually how the Academy picks. You don't think they
actually watch these movies do you?

Film Editing - I'm going to pick a dark horse. I loved the editing in Black Swan though not sure I would bet my house on it
winning. Screw it! Okay, I'll bet my house.

Foreign Film - I will give it to Biutiful, the story of a man in Spain who is a bad speller. It's TRAGIC!!

Animated Short - Again I can picture my Mom in the Liquor Store. We'll go with The Gruffalo.

Live Action Short - God Of Love. Who could vote against a movie with the word God in it? Well, maybe Bill Maher.

Director - I'm once again going to vote with my heart here. I'll pick Darren Aronofsky for the brilliant Black Swan. My finger and
toes, and eyes are crossed for him.

Actress - Natalie Portman. 'Nuff said.

Actor - I would have no problem with Jesse Eisenberg winning this, but the overwhelming favorite is Colin Firth. He was brilliant in The King's Speech and he will win the gold naked man this time around.

Picture - It was a great year for movies and there are a number of movies that could win this. True Grit, The Social Network,
Black Swan, The King's Speech and The Fighter are all in contention. Since a lot of these movies did well at the box
office you can expect some big ratings at the Oscars this year. I feel pretty confident that The King's Speech will take
the big prize this year. Although, I could be drunk.


There you go. I just saved you three and a half hours of boredom. If you still want to watch, park your behind in a VERY comfy chair and have your snacks and alcohol within arms reach. Enjoy the show and remember, We Are All Canucks! Oops, wrong blog, sorry.