Oscars hits and Mrs-My post-Oscar blog

I don't know why, but every year I am duped into watching the Oscars at 5 o' clock. Of course they don't actually start until 5:30, but my memory span continues to shrink. I wish I could say the same for my stomach. 5 o' clock is when the actresses of Hollywood strut their stuff (most of which we can see, whatever happened to needing to use our imagination?) down the red carpet. Call me cynical, but I don't really care 'who' they are wearing. And is it really necessary for the 8 foot long trains? Aren't any of these people worried about a backlash from their fans, many of whom can barely afford to feed themselves while watching the big show? I mean I could barely afford that second bag of Baked Cheezies. Oh well, we all know that Hollywood is a big facade and that most of those women slept with their directors to make it in Hollywood in the first place and are now spending most of their money on Coke and Heroin (allegedly). With that cheerful little insight into Tinseltown, so begins my post Oscar blog.

I was really looking forward to Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin hosting, and I was very surprised when Neil Patrick Harris came out to begin the show. He is a very talented guy and did a great song and dance number. I wonder if the Producers of the show wanted to kind of test the waters a bit to see people's reactions before letting him host a show. I thought it was great and hopefully he gets the opportunity next year. As for Steve Martin and Alex Baldwin, while I thought there were a few funny moments, they weren't as funny as I expected. I know they have some great writers working on this material and they have a lot of time to do it. It's not like they are doing a show a week or anything, so I expected better. I get the feeling that Alec Baldwin would've done better on his own.

One of my favorite parts of the Oscars is always the original song performances. It breaks up the monotony of what is generally a very long show. Why they decided to do without the performances is anyone's guess but I think it's the ultimate arrogance of Hollywood to think they can just show trailers of films and have actresses strut around in ridiculous dresses with million dollar necklaces and that will be entertainment enough. The only real moments of entertainment were the Neil Patrick Harris opening number and the dances during the Original Score nominees.

Speaking of arrogance, in my Oscar blog the other day I may have come across as a little egotistical. (Who me?) I gloated about how I'm rarely ever wrong when it comes to predictions. Well last night was a humbling experience. I think the problem was I got a little underdog happy. I should've stuck to the favorites a little more. And to think I got BOTH original and adapted screenplays wrong, well that's a first for me. I still insist that there is nothing more important in a movie than the screenplay, so those are always my favorite categories. In a perfect World the writers would get paid as much as the stars. No matter how good the acting or the directing is, you can't make up for a horrible script. I did pick two mild upsets, and I was wrong both times. And now, I feel shame.

I was also wrong about Best Director, although I was pretty sure by that time who would win. I never let myself make changes midway through however. The Hurt Locker was the big winner on the night, and there was just no stopping it. I was even wrong about the Documentaries and the Shorts, throwing my theories for a loop. It almost makes me think that the Academy actually WATCHED all the nominees. Well now that is just crazy talk.

I also pride myself in getting the Best Score category right every year. I picked Avatar, but after hearing clips of all the performances just before they opened the envelope, I wanted to change my pick to Up. I'd forgotten how amazing that music is. And if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it, for adults as much as kids. Anyways, I was glad to see that Up won, but pissed that I had to make another x on my paper. As if I didn't already feel like a big enough failure. Final tally on the night: 11 right, 13 wrong. (and 5 dozen of Grandma's Spring Rolls, 2 bags of Baked Cheezies and 9 glasses of Punch Drunk.) On the bright side, since only one or two people will actually read this blog, in next year's Oscar blog I can claim once again that I was perfect.

I thought the homage to John Hughes was very tasteful. I don't use the word tasteful very often when it comes to the Academy Awards. I thought he was a great writer and director and was very saddened by his death. The Breakfast Club and Trains, Planes, and Automobiles are two or my all-time favorite movies. I was further saddened (or maybe mortified is a more appropriate word) when Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson and the rest of the former child stars came out to talk about Hughes. Molly Ringwald looked like Zsa Zsa Gabor and Nelson looked like Abe Lincoln. Boy do I feel old.

I have to admit, I was not happy that Sandra Bullock won Best Actress. (I was so sure I was going to win that award before her. Now I'm bitter.) I haven't even seen The Blind Side so I probably shouldn't comment until I do, but you know that's never stopped me before. I was really impressed with Bullock's speech however and now I'm glad she won. I actually got a tear in my eye. I think it was the only tear of the night. Unfortunately there were not many great speeches. In today's ADHD World, there is too much pressure on the winners to deliver their speeches in 12 seconds. Some of the greatest moments in Oscar history were speeches. Like when Martin Luther King Jr won and then did his famous 'I had a dream' speech. Okay, so that wasn't the Oscars but I don't imagine you're reading this blog for historical accuracy.

I really liked Mon'ique's speech as well. Especially her comment about the Academy voting for her because of her performance and not politics. Hollywood is a game and most of the winner's at the Oscars play that game. It's all politics unfortunately. (You didn't really think Halle Berry won an Oscar based on talent did you?) Mon'ique was determined not to play the game and let her performance do the talking. Many critics didn't think that she would win because of it. I'm glad to see that she did.

I also liked the Obituary part of the show. It was a nice touch having James Taylor sing along to it. Hard to believe but I've already forgotten what the song was. Did I mention that I am going senile? Oh jeez, it's almost time for my medication. While it was a touching tribute to the many people that Hollywood has lost in the past year, they forgot about Farrah Fawcett and Estelle Getty. On Twitter, Roger Ebert said 'epic fail'. I wish he wouldn't say that. He's much too old.

Possibly the funniest moment for Martin and Baldwin was their Paranormal Activity spoof. It involved them rolling around in bed in fast motion. At one point Steve Martin walked over and slapped Alec Baldwin on the face, making one of my predictions come true.

As the show went on, it seemed pretty obvious that they were falling behind. The often lame and embarrassing banter of the presenters was replaced with just the reading of the nominees and the opening of the envelope. At least lame and embarrasssing is entertaining. The reading of the nominees is just boring. The weirdest moment happened right at the end. Tom Hanks walked out to present the Best Picture winner. He didn't even read the nominees, he just said "and the winner is...The Hurt Locker." Kathryn Bigelow was hugging everyone around her (except her ex-husband) before I realized that it wasn't a joke. That kind of wrecked a perfectly mediocre show. Are they that afraid of going into the Amazing Race's time slot? (I hate to get sidetracked but the Amazing Race hasn't been 'amazing' in 8 years.)

I did like the fact that Steve Martin tried to steal Kathryn Bigelow's Oscar at the end and then he said 'this show was so long that Avatar now takes place in the past." Truer words were never spoken.